sometime in february 2023

post jeans nap delusion

i wake up from my afternoon jeans nap in a what day is it confusion

listening to the kids play basketball in the street

my cat leeched around my body like a semi-permanent accessory

warm and buzzing

twitching in and out of dreams

my mind swims in the amalgam of other people's words fed to me by my pocket computer

i cannot settle the river rifts pulsing through my body

twitch and buzz and sand packed in my lungs

worrying about the slow daunting power of erosion

sudden jagged edges

smooth marble floor

who decided the rocks needed to change?


death and beginning

life and ending

the atomic makeup of skin

touching, holding

we're all born of the same crack in the ground

I inhale our shared gaze and exhale suffering

can we reverse individuation?

to walk here with you

surrounded by the sounds of the sun

to witness the waking of the earth

the constant flux between

entanglement and reorganization

your thoughts and mine stem from the same seed

destroy the illusion of ownership

return to the harmonic cycles

find your voice in the symphonies of nature

we need you here to complete the song


my heart as glass blown

nestled in the depths of your corduroy pants pocket

hyper conscious of the height from hip to floor

from warmth to the cold vulnerability

of being in shards

i'd prefer to drift aimless, formless

slave to the whistling lips of the wind

would you rather be drawn by a stick in the mud?

formed from clay between a childs dirty palms

the creation of a lovely figurine

sitting motionless on your work desk

gazing up at you

blending in with the mundanity

what would happen if you smashed it?

dried and meticulously smoothed matter

shattered at your feet

would you feel better, lighter?

august 2020

im at a loss when the across the street neighbor

turns out the light

paralyzed in the midst of dance

there is beauty in stillness

there is beauty in stillness

if you remind me again i might even believe it

I haven't heard your voice in weeks

im buckled at the knees

late summer sun melt me into the asphalt street

roll the window down please for me

or i might forget to listen

the evergreens rustle, wind and birds whistle

her voice fills me and our spirits dance

forever in the thin air

july 2020

im coming in and out

of consciousness all the time

life is a waking dream

sleep is the illusion of solace

i want to be squished

in between the walls of perception

molecular confetti raining down

between blades of grass

I tell myself secrets in the awake hours

I think what I'm trying to figure out is

how to be

laying naked on a smooth rock in the sun

heat can be the mediator

between my body and the Everything Else

I'm trying to melt

abolish the walls in between

in the dream hours

I am the mess of consciousness

in the most perfect way

the birds in my pillow speak ancient words at me

I simply stare out over their heads

and watch the sun look down